Monday, December 31, 2007


We watched this movie last night. It was amazing! I had heard good things about it, but no one could prepare me for the way it touched me personally. If you are a regular blog reader, you know that my daughter was a complete miracle baby-totally unplanned & unexpected. My husband & I were dead set on NOT having children, but somehow, post-vasectomy, we got pregnant. The reason I'm giving you all this personal information (again) is because in the movie, the main character spends her entire pregnancy not wanting to be pregnant. It wasn't that she didn't want the baby to exist per se, she just didn't want the changes that having a baby would mean to her life (or so she thought). She felt trapped & out of control. It touched me to no end. I spent my entire pregnancy, quietly suffering because I didn't want to seem like a bad person for being confused about my pregnancy. You only hear about how happy people are when they are pregnant. You are led to believe that if you don't immediately turn to mush over the idea, you will be a bad mother. That something is wrong with you. I thought I suffered in this alone. Now a movie is focusing on that very thing! It just goes to show you that most of our deep, dark secrets are actually pretty universal, we are all just keeping them in the deep-dark-down at the same time.

I don't want to ruin the end of the movie for you, but if you want to know how I ended-up feeling about my daughter and how she changed my life, go rent it! Hey, it's even chock full of talk about pies and you know how I love baked goods!

Now, here's a downer: The director, writer & actor in this film, a genius woman & mother of a toddler herself (she wrote the screenplay while pregnant) was killed shortly before the movie was released. I cried when I found out. Her talent was amazing & I felt such kinship with her. I mean she wrote about one of the most challenging issues in my life with such grace, beauty and humor. Even worse, I can't imaging her having to leave her daughter so soon. It all just breaks my heart.

Anyway, I didn't mean to get all soppy. I just haven't watched a movie that touched me like this in a very long time & I wanted to share.

P.S. I only felt the same about the pregnancy-the stuff about the husband & doctor don't apply to my life at all. I LOVE my wonderful husband & have a female doctor!