Saturday, January 19, 2008

Soulful Coffee Date

You may have noticed that I've been a little hard on myself lately. I've been having this floating anxiety that I couldn't pin-point the cause of and it's caused quite a mood around here. Well, even I am getting sick of myself, so I handed my daughter to my husband this morning, took my morning pages and a cup of coffee to my "nesting chair" and decided to have a little talk with my soul. To see what was bothering her. I realized that, although I set some annual birthday goals, like doing a sketch everyday, I didn't really allow myself any hopes or dreams for the year. I've just been kind of floating around, working on this and that, and feeling useless. Well, today, it has all become crystal clear. Once I gave my soul a chance to talk, I found out what I should be working on. The funny thing is, the list doesn't really include my Etsy shop. No wonder I've been so frustrated with it. I mean, I've been wasting all my spare time working on something that I don't really want. Don't worry, I like having the Etsy shop for fun and I will still upload goodies to it, but I'm not going to spend a lot of time worrying about it. I have bigger fish to fry. Of course, with these big fish, come self-doubt, but I can work through that. So want to hear my list?

-I want to do more wholesale. My goal for the year is to be in at least 3 boutiques by the end of the year.
-I want to do licensing & illustration work.
-I want to have at least one gallery show by the end of the year.

Now for the really BIG fish:
-I want to be a guest on the Martha Stewart Show.
-I want to be a featured artist in ME's Home Companion.

So now I know how to spend my time. I'm the kind of person who needs a purpose, but it has to be a purpose that makes me happy. I also now know what to ask the universe (or whatever you call your higher power) for. I've been confusing mine, and haven't been feeling much synchronicity or magic in my life lately. It's not that I have been abandoned, I just didn't know what I was looking for. Now I do. I'm going to work on a journal page today that reminds me of my goals. I'll probably photo copy it and hang it near my desk to keep myself on track.

Thanks for sticking in there with me. Now, fasten your seatbelts, keep your arms inside the car at all times and get ready to come on the wildest ride in the West with me!