Wednesday, February 6, 2008

The Trouble with Two Year Olds

My daughter is the joy of my life, but I've really been struggling lately. NOT because of her, but because, when you have a two year old, you can't just sit down and create when the muse strikes. I've been having these urges and ideas in the middle of the day lately to paint or make something & it's just too darn bad. I can't sit down and hope to work uninterrupted when the mood strikes. It almost physically hurts sometimes to hold it in. I think I'm especially struggling because my daughter has stopped taking naps. I used to get a 2-3 hour break in the middle of the day, and she's given them up! (Believe me, I've tried to wear her out, but nothing doing.) I do make her have a "quiet time" for an hour each day, but I know she's awake and so on some level I'm still keenly alert. A mama bear on duty.

I'm lucky because my dear husband always takes over when he gets home from work and gives me a few hours each weekend, but the muse doesn't like to be on a schedule most of the time. I can have a great idea at 2pm in the afternoon, but am too tired and no longer excited about it by 7pm when I can actually sit down and work.

I know this is temporary. She will be in school before I know it & I will miss hearing the little pitter-pat of her little feet all day long, but today that feels like light years away.

To top off the frustration, I am consumed by guilt that I even feel this way. My healthy, beautiful two year old daughter is a gift. She is my greatest creation. How dare I be so selfish with my desires to paint uninterrupted! I'm sure this a struggle that every mother can relate with, but today feels extra hard.

The eye candy of the day is a Katie Doodle I was able to scribble out one night while I was watching brainless TV. I scanned it into my computer and darkened it up a bit. Then I printed it out, cut it out and glued it to some cute cardstock. You know how much I love to play with new ways to use my existing artwork!