I love to take photos. I hate to see myself in photos. I never take self portraits. I get a bit "pissy" when someone points a camera in my direction. I cringe and beat myself up when I see myself in photos. I'm in hiding. Always telling myself I'll like to be caught on film when I'm thinner. Except....
I recently came to the realization that there are very few photos of me during these early years of my daughter's life. What if, one day, she wanted to look back on her childhood and remember what I looked I like when I was younger? By hiding from the camera, am I denying my daughter (and myself) the chance to go back in time?
As I work on rebuilding my self-esteem, I think I need to work on accepting how I look now. And I need to document it. When I look back at photos of me when I was in my 20s, I remember how I hated the way I looked when I got the film back from the photo processors. (Remember when we got film developed?). Now I look at those photos and think about how thin, and young, and pretty I was. I need to remember that one day, I'll look back at today's photos and, at the very least appreciate my relative youth and the person I was at that time. I'm going to make an effort to take more photos of myself and let others take them of me.
What about you? Do you like the way you look in photographs? Do you hide from the camera?
9 comments:
this is EXACTLY me, and i do think about how sad it is that my son will only have a few pics of us together... i'm working on changing that, and accepting myself.
shoshanah
(can't remember my google login!)
I think it is subjective. I've taken good and bad pics ::shrug:: Whenever a camera is pointed in my direction I flash a big smile and go with it. My face will likely be shiny and maybe my bangs won't be laying right, but so what.
My mother-in-law is one to "get pissy" when a camera is aimed her way. Consequently, the only photos we have of her are of her turning her head or holding up her hand like she is fending off the paparazzi. What a shame that is all we'll have when she is gone. So, good for you letting your guard down ~ your friends & family will be happy :-)
And honestly, I don't think any of us ever appreciate what we are right here, right now. We're marvelous. Enjoy it!
This is so me! And boy, do I regret. My kids are grown and I have been scanning my parent's picture and my family pictures and, when I tagged them all there are very few of me over the years. It even started out that way! My dad had surgery right about the time I was born and money was too tight to buy film and have it developed. Anyway, the pictures I do have, I treasure. I don't know you, but as evidenced by your blog, you are a beautiful and talented woman. Please quit hiding from the camera. I have.
Silly girl. Where do you get that?
This is a really cool photo. And a good post. Yours, with admiration.
It did take me years to accept pictures of myself but now I try to remember that my kids and grands may want to see them. I lost my little sister a couple of years ago and she was so camera shy, wish I had more pictures of her now. Thanks for sharing, I think so many of us feel this way.
Saw a t-shirt once with these words..
"The Older I Get, The Better I Was"
So...
Enjoy your 'was' which is RIGHT NOW!
I started taking MORE pictures of me and you know what? Some of them are actually pretty decent, all things considered.
I bet the more you take, the more you'll learn what works in photos and some will even be decent.
Experiment with it, just like everything else. And everyone has a different 'style' photo taking - you might be surprised. My aunt took a picture of me that is just dynomite... maybe you'll get better at it too and you'll see improvements in the photos you take of other people & things too!
Make it a game, that's what helps me too - I take a bunch at a time and usually one of them is pretty good.
Enjoy the process,
Pam Hoffman
I am my worst critic...capturing the moment in time is important. Here's to more smiles and more pictures.
Great post!
I've decided to take part in this project for the month of August to get over myself, http://www.susannahconway.com/ have a look at her "Would you like to join me" post.
laura- great perspective. my honeys mom dies a few years back of lou gherigs and she hated photos also-- so there are not many out there, and if there are she is always holding her hand in her face :) glad to see your new perspective....plus, they get put in a book and sit on the shelf. not many lookers :)
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